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September 1st, 2005


06:00 pm
FUCKING LONG WEEKEND BIATCH!!!!!!

i can barely wait....

gonna fucking rock...

greenday monday night

and i get the big comfy bed....

CHEERS
Current Mood: quixoticquixotic

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August 13th, 2005


12:36 pm
so its over....

or is it....

if i don't get a 60 on the exam i gotta write the exam again

i think i did bad on the exam... hopefully i make it

if not.... i gotta write it within three weeks... conviently just before the long weekend... FUCK!!!!!!! i swear to god if i have to cancel the long weekend trip somebody is gonna die

so i've decided i'm gonna open that weekend up... so anyone is welcome.... just realize that if u bring someone.... ur vouching for them... so if it goes south its you who looks bad...

just lemme me know if ur gonna bring others up...mok....

got Cam coming and Ryan goode, kris wright and john ung.... and ryan grant is unable to attend... however he is going to greenday with us... fucking eh...

also directions are gonna be on there way and i need to know if rides need to arranged.... got some spots with various rides....

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August 12th, 2005


09:31 am
HOE LEE CRAP
I think im gonna puke i'm so nervous bout this exam....
three hours till kick off....
Current Mood: stressedstressed
Current Music: fan going whirl

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August 11th, 2005


10:11 pm - exam
Holy fuck i got my exam tomorrow....

last university exam....

wow tomorrow is either gonna suck or rock....

i hope it rocks...

wish me luck....

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August 4th, 2005


10:28 pm
so today was the longest day of my life,

5:30 in the morning i get woken up by charlie brown's teacher. well actually it was my mom, but all i heard was waa waaa waaaa waaaa waaa and the only part i remember, was her telling me to go back to bed.... so i go back to bed... about 4 hours later i get a phone call from my mom telling me my father is alright...

Me:what do you mean he's all right, where are u guys?
mom: at the hospital, ur dad had pains in his chest and he's at the hospital, their pretty sure it wasn't a heart attack...
me: ok mom... i'm confused whats going on...
mom: i told you this morning (apparently i responded and we had a conversation for a few minutes... but fuck i don't remeber it)

then it dawns on me...wtf is going on... why is my dad in the hospital... this so fucked up... why.... i'm so gonna end up dead by the age of 30.... i'm 24 and i've had a heart attack... i'm morbidly obese... i'm gonna die....and its only 9 am.... this is way to early to be thinking about this....

i know why my dad's in the hospital with chest pains he's overweight... this scares me... i don't wanna have to carry a coffin and read a eulogy about how cool my dad was... the things he did.... the scary part he's never had heart problems.... actually what scares me more is the thought that its gonna be my da carrying my coffin and reading my eulogy....

i'm twice as bad as he is and i've already had a heart attack... not a massive one but nonetheless a heart attack... my grand father died of a heart attack at 65, and he wasn't over weight... all of my uncles have had heart attacks or bypasses great genetics eh? so now it 9:05....

just five minutes after waking up....i'm thinking i've been up for 5 minutes and i'm afraid... honestly i'm afaid... cuz i know once i get outta bed this day is goinna be the longest most crappy day of life this far... in my head i'm thinking i gotta get my life together... i can't live like this... my body is gonna give up... and then what... and then what... its 9:10.... ten fucking minutes... i've been up ten fucking minutes.... i just wanna curl up and fucking fade away...

no see this is the problem... i can't just fade away.. whats the fucking point... why go to school... why try to get outta debt.... why do anything... five years like this and it'll be over... i don't want that...... its 9:15 and i'm still in bed... afraid sitting in bed thinking the whole world is about to cave in... i'm being crushed in my own bed... i can't breath... wtf? i try to breath and it doesn't work... i'm thinking there is no fucking way i'm gonna be able to breath.... i try to breath and all i get is nothing i can feel my fucking heart racing...now i'm panicing... try to breath and nothing... i'm being crushed... my eyes are closed and i'm being crushed... i try to breath and my lungs don't work...

10:30 my cell phone rings.. its my boss i now work till nine pm.. a guy at work just quit...

did you just wake up?
me: i dunno... i can't remember
well ok i'll talk to you later

10:30 and now i'm not scared but i'm confused... i call my mom to find out if i was dreaming or is dad in the hospital...

i get an answering machine...

fuck...

11:40 i get a phone call, and my mom explains the whole deal to me... they dunno whats wrong.. but dads fine but he's got some tests to do and he'll be out by 2 pm

i take a shower and go to work... listening to music on the way to work i'm come to the conclusion... if i keep living like this... i wont be living like this... its sorta of a scary moment... i think the worst thing is that cuz i'm afraid and sad ... i automatically feel the need to eat... i need to eat it'll make me feel better... so i eat... and yet i don't feel any better.... infact, i feel bad cuz i'm eating... which makes me sad and i feel alone and then i eat...if i'm busy i don't have time to think and if i don't have time to think so i don't have time to be sad... then i don't need to eat...

but here i sit eating... alone... and sad... thinking.... i need to stop this...

wtf... 4 hours into the day and about 3hr58mins of it has been spent thinking...

it almost midnight

thank god a new day is almost here.....night

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August 2nd, 2005


11:20 am
i dug a hole at the cottage for the new weeping tile for our grey water at the cottage.... i'll never have a future as a serial murderer.... digging holes is tuff work... the hole was like five feet deep and about 5 feet long and about 3 feet wide.... i totally understand now how people only dig shallow graves... deep graves require alo of work... plus there a bitch to get out of....well it was fun....

only 10 days now till my course is over... hurrays

my cousin is gettin hitched this weekend... hurray for laid back weddings... i could wear shorts if i wanted.... coolness in ever sense of the word....

just sent in my invite for Grants's wedding 3 days late... Megan will understand... i sorta figure that cuz i'm in the wedding party that they know i'm coming...

off to work....
Current Mood: goodgood
Current Music: when september ends: green gay

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July 26th, 2005


02:17 pm - i wish they mad a dvr/pvr for the thoughts in my head
So it turns out i'm going to the cottage to do slave labour this weekend... hurray for that shit eh? so uh yeah that sux... so much for my plans...

mom: so i know ur gonna have to study tomorrow so u can do ur birthday any day u want

Drew: so we'll do it saturday

Mom: no ur going to the cottage

Drew: But i have plans

Mom: yes to dig a hole at the cottage

drew: oh ok

Mom: do u wants ur gifts and a card tomorrow

drew: well sure its my birthday

mom: but we're celebrating it some other time

drew: but its my birthday

mom: FUCK! what the hell am i gonna get you (she should kept this sentence in her head)

drew: thinks to self: fuck she didn't get any thing..

Mom: Well i need to get groceries

Drew: Secretly drew thinks to himself... hmm wonder what she's gonna get me, looks around and notices alot of food... like alot of food... to much food in fact...ooooh she's going bday shopping... sweet she's in a bad mood and tired which means i get a shitty gift or i'll prolly get cash, i always end up getting cash... sweet i need cash... cash can buy a tatt....hey i've dropped serious cash on bdays and mothers/fathers day... dude i should get a wad of cash...like the biggest ever... man this is gonna be sweet... but what if its not... what then.. fuck... hmm maybe i should practise smiling naturally... wow thanks its what i always wanted.... thats not that hard... ok ok... i swear to god if i get tapes for my busted camcorder i'm gonna shoot something... yeah that's it... get me a gun... i want a gun for my birthday... all the cool rappers got um... and rednecks... i'm sorta a redneck... i like nascar... pickup trucks and smoking meat... and cut off tshirts... and am fascinated by mullets.... damn but i need a license for a gun.. wait i was given a car without having my license...so why not a gun.... hmm wonder what i'm gonna get....
Current Mood: tiredtired
Current Music: rain

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July 25th, 2005


07:56 pm
U know ur tired when finding out that in the yukon their is a mount cockfield next to five finger rapids... and u laugh ur ass off... ahh i hate the north but i love the names they come up with

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10:51 am - Burn Vistims and my bathroom mirror
i've decided my first place isn't gonna have a mirror above the sink in the bathroom. Anyone who's ever looked at themselves in the mirror in my bathroom would agree it's the worst mirror on earth...its got three bulbs on the tops.... 2 80 watt clear, and a 100 watt clear... all of which are the large bulbs...a total of 280 watts of light bulb power.... basicly way to much light to be shot onto your face as your brushing your teeth after getting up in the morning.... sometimes i think...was i a burn victim as a kid...really kids u can tell me if i was...
Current Mood: waking up
Current Music: Hot 89.9

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July 24th, 2005


11:00 pm - stuffishnessarisms
ok so all is good.. i got the book a whole 5 hours later... apparently traffic was a bitch going to and from the cottage and the runts had to nap before coming home... as my dad put it... i could a nap at the cottage or in the ditch on the way home... glad he chose to sleep at the cottage...

so i've decided i'm gonna get a celtic star tat around the one i got already... i wanna do the tribal thing... but i keep thinking its just the in thing... and plus the maori would be pissed... those people ar scary too...

anyhoo back to writing an essay.. takes a while when u haven't done um in freakin ages....

Happy 24th Birthday Shane!

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